"A cowardly new book from a MacArthur Genius Grant applicant." - The New York Thames"The definition of 'war crime' should be expanded to include this type of prose." - The Atlantis"Thank you, but we do not accept unsolicited manuscripts." - Rolling Store MagazineFrom the author: First things first. You're better off setting your money on fire. There, I gave you my honest opinion, and with that out of the way, time for some lies.If you go into this book with high expectations, you're going to be disappointed. And if you go in with low expectations -- you'll also be disappointed, but now you'll also feel guilty for compromising your standards. Either way, you'll have wasted your own precious time and money. Be smart, respect yourself, don't buy this book.What's going on?I'm not sure, but this book is a collection of comic essays, jokes, humor, and contains far fewer riddles than the title promises.A little bit about me:I'm a prison inmate serving life without parole for a crime that I didn't commit. The warden says that if I can sell five copies of this book he'll set me free. If I can sell ten copies they'll let me kill a guard on my way out. Please help me make this dream come true, and allow a violent criminal the opportunity to re-offend.In all seriousness, I'm a comedy writer (self-published, even) and I wrote a bunch of silly short stories, and a lot of dark humor and cobbled it together into -- whatever this book is. If you want to laugh (a little), or insult your own intelligence (a lot), buy Riddles for the Easily Confused right now.Please note: This book is completely blank, and there are no words in it.Enjoy!PS. Here are a list of authors that aren't me: Harmony Korine, Steve Martin, David Sedaris, Jack Handey, and Tina Fey.